"I'm gonna rotini your butter fucker."

I just recently opened up my livejournal again. It's been *years* since I posted to it. Kind of neat to see it's still around. I figured LJ would have deleted it by now, but maybe the mass of numbers on their servers make them squeel a bit.

Anyway, life has been pretty everywhere really. I am now looking at rooming up officially with a friend I've known for several years, and there's really not much else to update.

Life is decent. I can't complain, really. It's an interesting ride, to be sure.

Back to the video games for me! FREE PORTAL ON STEAM UNTIL MAY 24th! *cheers!*

Also, L4D and L4D2 rockz mah sox. SSBB too!

Always looking for people to shoot dem zombie bitches wid. Teehee.

Wow it's been... years!

Anywho, to kick it off - this was pretty funny!

I can't remember the last time I updated this LJ. For those who're interested -- I have a job elsewhere. I even worked at PetSmart for a time, but due to finances I had to find another job or a second job to make ends meet.

I finally moved away from my Aunt, though I have lost touch with a lot of family due to that. If I'm not in there dealing with the troubles from my Aunt, I'm away from there dealing with the fact I don't see my family or speak with them as often as I'd like. Which sucks. I guess exchange one problem for another. But I'm hoping to resolve this, and my Mom is coming up from Australia next month which may be my chance to see family and speak with them without the negative influence of my Aunt.

It's not easy where I'm working now, however the pay is much better and the hours are tremendously better than at PetSmart. I would have gladly remained there because it was absolutely my niche. I loved working with animals there, and being a part of a community dedicated to helping animals. I'll stay where I am until after the Holidays and the hours have gone down again. I'm going to be looking for other work regardless. Something part time maybe at Starbucks or some other such cafe'.

Things with the roommate are fantastic. We're both incredibly compatable and while we have our days/moments, we soon brush them off and are fine again. Our lease is ending in a few months already, but we're considering renewing it. These apartments are really nice. Even though we're paying a fair bit, we like it here. One of our neighbors downstairs is an elderly woman and she is so sweet, and so fun to talk to. If we move, that will definitely be one person I'll miss.

Anyways, today is my day off and I feel like scrubbing the place down. I want it to look spotless for when my Mom comes to visit. Anything that looks even remotely like the mess I had at the old place, drives me up the walls. So I'm becoming more persistant about keeping the place up. I just scrubbed the kitchen counters and stove top. Set up a few small things, put up my DVD holder in the livingroom and.. oh.. last night I got to light my first fire in the fireplace. After much fighting, because I think the wood was just shitty, it finally went and it went very well. It was really nice. The smell of burnt wood fills the house now, and while it's not a bad smell it can be a touch overwhelming. So I spent today lighting incense while I cleaned to give the house a blend of smells that's appealing.

Right, I'm off to scoure through my junk and clean up the place. Ta!

I've been real quiet lately, but fear not! Things are doing fairly well considering the mass amount of stress I feel.

The job situation has begun to straighten out a bit, though I am still skeptical about how things are being handled there regarding the snide remarks from co-workers and being treated poorly by one of the managers. I think she's beginning to warm up to me... er.. probably for the sake of not getting a complaint filed against her, frankly. But who knows.

Financially things have begun to stabalize. We're running tight on stuff, but it's not as crazy as it has been. My last paycheck gave me enough to pay off a fair bit of my loan, plus food, plus bills, so on and so forth. My Mom is loaning me a bit also, which will be put aside to cover rent as a backup just in case my next paycheck is low.

We're still only receiving 32 hrs. max at work, which is unfortunate. We're simply not making enough to support more than that, and it's frustrating.

My store manager is so pleased with my work that she's going to be putting a word in for me at the corporate office, and try to get me a position working for them instead of the store I work at right now. I'm rather pleased by this.

I ran to Dragon's Lair, the tattoo parlor I frequent, and showed them a drawing I had been working on for the last two weeks. They were incredibly impressed, and complimented my talent. One guy asked if my tattoo artist was going to take me as an apprentice! That was really an ego-booster. So of course now that the idea has been presented, I've begun considering it. It may be a fleeing thought, but it's an intriguing one.

Thanks to everyone who's supported me in this hardship.. whether by responding to my post, or being there for me otherwise.

I have a new tattoo in dedication to the passing of my boy, Bandit. It's very pretty, and will post a picture of it once it's finished healing and completed. It's a cat paw with the kanji for 'Loyalty' over it, and will have tribal coming out of each side with spots of cherry blossoms. I paid for the whole thing, but the tribal part will be done hopefully Wednesday assuming the tattoo is healed enough for it to be added.

Around 4:30 am, I had to rush Bandit to the Emergancy Vets. He was diagnosed as either having severe ashma when he suddenly stopped eating and was having trouble breathing, or heart disease... neither which would have given him much of a life afterwards.

Today around 7:00am, he left us peacefully.

He was 11 years old, and he is sorely missed. I love him so much.

Rest in peace, Bandit.

I interviewed with Petco today.
It went well. The man who interviewed me said, "I'll tell her 'Hey, I liked this girl! You might want to hire her!'" and he seemed enthusiastic about it, so I think it went very well and it felt like a good conversation more than an interview. Everything was relaxed, and casual, and yet professional in that indirect sort of manner.

I dressed in my nicest suit, and we both talked a bit. He has tattoos, and piercings, and so does the store manager. He wore tan shorts with his Petco uniform top, which just made me smile a little more since it seemed so much more relaxed about things.

I watched the screen flicker in front of me
I watched it dance of twilight dreams and fantasies
I listened to the music play through my mind
The echo of a world left far behind

Sobar, quiet, trying to move on
Did you know him?
Did I truly know him?
He was gone before I got to say goodbye

Did he know me?
Would he remember me?
He had approached me and asked if we'd met
One day, one second, he was gone

Suicide is a cure for pain
But what pain did he leave behind?
What effect lay his breathless form on this world?

Anger surged through me
Anger for hanging himself

Welling deep within is a certain pain
A twinge of hate
A twinge of regret
Had I said enough to him to keep him alive?
Could I have made more of a difference in his life?

He was so far away
yet we remembered our days on the streets
He had left Seattle behind
Because it fueled his addictions

He had moved away
A child was born
He had gone away to try and escape the drugs
He wanted to change his life for the better

Suicide is a cure for pain
But what pain did he leave behind?
What effect lay his breathless form on this world?

Anger surged through me
Anger for hanging himself

You are now a memory
A mark of pain in my heart
I never wanted to see you dislodge like this
I never wanted you to depart like this

It's almost too painful to bear
That you'd killed yourself because it was too much
You were strong
Why didn't you try harder?

Anger surges through me
Tears can't bring you back to me
I wish you'd talked to me
I wish you'd never taken your life

Now I'll never see you again
I had hoped you'd return to Seattle to visit me
But you'll never see me again
And I'll never see you
Except in memories
Where you're to remain for the rest of my life